i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
