I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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