plz talk dirty to me
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
