How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
