Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
