ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize