I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
