fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
