I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
