Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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