we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Randomize
