THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
