My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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