I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
