And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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