So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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