what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
