i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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