I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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