definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
