I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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