I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
