I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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