I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize