Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
