i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
people are starting to question the shark bite story
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
