Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's shark week go big or go home
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
