Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
