I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
