life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize