I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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