And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize