So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
