i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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