we have pet lesbian snakes
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize