sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
