You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
