Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
