We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize