I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
