My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize