she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
God, I missed his penis.
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