Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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