Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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