In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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