You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
