"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Your cock deserves a montage
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Bring me that man meat
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
