Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
