Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
