Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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