I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's blow job season.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize