Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
