i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
