I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She announced her abortion via fbk
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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