Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
