But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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