Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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