why didn't you poke me back
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
