on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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