I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
