i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
