how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
