Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
