What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
