just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
