I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
